I feel like I have to defend my feelings. Why do I, a grieving mother, have to defend how I feel? My child died. She is a person, not some thing that you forget about and don’t talk about again. She is a perfect person and I miss her! This world has lost sight of what is important: how can I help? What can I do for you, not myself?
Don’t get me wrong, there have been some amazing people who have stepped up in my life during this horrible time. But, the people who I thought I would be hearing from the most have been silent. Why is it like this? I shouldn’t have to shout and scream at someone to get someone to see that I’m hurting, I’m drowning, I’m slowly losing myself…
Everyone needs to know this about grieving parents-this is their loss. Your’s too, in a way, but just think about how you felt when you heard the news: Sophia’s heart stopped on her induction day. Multiply that by a million and add a few more. That is how her parents feel. You can’t imagine or even come close to this feeling… this pain. Charles and I wouldn’t want anyone to. This is literally the worst thing that anybody can do: bury their child.
So before you speak, please think. Nothing you say will make us feel better. No amount of words can describe how we feel and no amount of words can take that pain away. Just let us know you’re thinking of us, ask if there is anything you can do (and mean it), just come sit with us for crying out loud. Take that time to reach out, genuinely, and just be there.